Majestic Harvest squats in an abandoned theatre then steals the highly successful marketplace-cafe model. Industrial decor, bread on wooden boards, cold pressed juices, fry pans used as plates – a hipster beehive.
The only show worth my time is an honest, unique and filling feed that is tax-free from gimmicks. Turns out, the true theatre here is one of irony. Coffee art is good but flavour no better than instant.
Vege patch, my choice. Waiter gives a confirmatory nod. Out it comes and my natural yellow hue now resembles the $$$ red cabbage sold nearby. Plate coverage appalls me. Egg is not the tallest element on the stack – plating 101!
Vege Patch – quinoa, chickpea and sweet potato slab with vegetables, egg and truffle salsa verde – $18
A few spears, flat mushrooms on a semi-dense brick. I’m reminded of a veggie pattie without the best part, the crunch. Truffle salse verde sounds world class, yet all I taste is oil (too much). My first poached egg is so lonely without a Siamese twin. Only one popping episode available …
The Majestic is in effect, the big breakfast.
The Majestic – 3 poached eggs, ham, black pudding, baked beans, kale and toast – $19
Awkward pan forgiven by virtue of multiple generous elements. Ex-kale, this is boring and produce quality is not obvious.
No doubt, the pan’s only staring role was presentation, not cooking. Eater awards 8/10, but like his toddler son at the table, he knows no better.
Patience is crumbling, like a block of feta that Lorie’s dish needs for flavour.
Eggs al forno with chorizo, mixed beans, potatoes, sugo & sourdough – $12.50
Baked eggs is a chef yardstick. The kitchen commits every conceivable sin:
– Oily film on-top, watery texture underneath
– Minute dish, stingy on Chorizo, slither of bread
– Tasteless without any salt or seasoning
Lorie chokes this down then offloads scraps to me. Meanwhile, the unborn with her palate for (good) baked eggs utters the first word…. I won’t repeat blasphemy on this blog.
Now comes eggs benny.
Eggs benedict on sourdough with serrano ham – $14
A serving of stinginess, compounded by a rapidly coagulating hollandaise sauce. First world problem, third world value.
No surprise to my scoring:
– Food (♦♦) – good looking produce, but thematic of underwhelming flavours.
– Value (♦) – high teens pricing harvests the wallet, not the soul.
– Other (♦) – inattentive service. Nearby juice bar is understandably empty.
– Overall (♦)- love of food takes a serious beating.
I do not recommend. I consider buying the flowers as tomb decoration.
Will I be returning?