Something for Jess, Chippendale (Jan-16) (♦)

Something for Jess, Chippendale (Jan-16) (♦)

Something for Jess, Chippendale (Jan-16) (♦)

My warning – another great rated ‘trending‘ spot which is a copy-cat garden-to-plate operator. 

Something for Jess. An alluring chalkboard menu with seasonal produce and highly regarded by bloggers. Christine, Nick and baby Linc are back from a cameo brunch down in Bondi. The risk is if this under delivers, a chubby baby is my second course. This is a poor man’s version of Cornersmith in Marrickville.

Massive menu descriptions highlighting local sourcing; owner gives no sympathy to the poor slave that updates the board by hand when pumpkin price rises above $1/kg (today).

2015 trend of Sydney Inner West … pay $15 for a garden-bed-on-toast best suited to veterans of sustained cabbage-soup dieting.

‘Forboding’ is defined as walking in to see three petite waitresses and equally skinny diners eating muesli. We have a carbon copy of Cornersmith. The non-toast, non-muesli option is mine to try.

Roasted pumpkin, quinoa salad with pesto dressing and a poached egg – $15 + $3

3 nuts, 3 pieces of pumpkin and 8 forkfuls before the plate is snatched away. An assault on a customer’s physiological need to consume enough calories to walk back to the car.

I had the foresight to add a poached egg. The sole enjoyment of my meal.

‘Chorizo’ … the lonesome word in my expectant lady’s vocabulary.

Housemade chorizo baked eggs on baguette – $16.50

‘Disappointment’ is defined as a baked eggs in a mug resulting in the need to fill up on bread.

‘Catastrophe’ is defined as a mild-flavoured watery base with no chunkiness. Too thin for the bread to absorb, no spoon offered to scoop the broth up. This was an egg and sausage broth. Similar to a Korean hotpot without the spice and 1/10th the value. I miss proper baked eggs in a tomato base.

Dish #3 and #4 were the jumble-on-toast style offers.

Smoked silverside wagyu bruschetta – $17

The most impressive looking dish goes to Nick. Menu name is as incredible as the asking price. Dish translation? Processed meat and garden salad on a slither of toast. Feedback was OK, but the guy had to indulge in a muffin on the sidewalk just 5 minutes later…

Raspberry muffin – $4

Now comes the rainbow trout to the benefit of Christine.

Pretty similar to the beef in composition and construction. The protein was under-represented and the smokiness too understated. My mind was depicting more epic visuals of a ‘rainbow’ fish.

OK to show my face as I won’t return. Can’t speak for the others.


Score summary:

– Food (♦♦) – hit and miss with over reliance on veggie munching to deliver flavour.
– Value (♦) – mid teens pricing is OK but on seriously stingy serves.
– Other (♦♦♦) quaint set-up, good service, order to first bite 20 minutes.
– Overall (♦) – high expectations, rock bottom outcome. Post meal hunger.

At a minimum the ‘sourcing‘ concept differentiates from Subway and the offer is OK for a healthy snack. If you want a hearty winter brunch, avoid. My fingers have gnaw marks from the trip home.

Will I be returning?
No no no.

Produce of the week – aka whose garden can the chef’s raid

Something for Jess Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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